Well, I talked to a bunch of people to day about school related issues. Mainly the fact that my surgery is going to be on a Monday and the semester still has that week then finals before its officially over. I need to talk to one more professor, and if he gives me the go a head, I can take my finals two weeks sooner and not have to worry about school. I like that idea very much.
I talked to a friend of mine, she's a teacher there on campus, and I knew that she survived breast cancer. If I was gonna talk to anyone, it was gonna be her. She said something that was sobering. She said, "if the cancer has spread, you may not be around in 5 years." I started to cry. I know it was harsh, but it's the reality of my situation. She also said something about my having a predisposition for cancer, and I might get a more aggressive, deadlier cancer. It was a good talk all in all. I wanted to hear about cancer from a woman's point of view. I've only had my boss, who is a male, to talk to about it. He talked about getting ripped roaring drunk before his surgery. lol. Not really helpful, seeing as how I don't drink.
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Two friends of mine are pregnant. I'm happy for them, for their joy and their family. But at the same time I feel sad that I won't get to make an announcement like that. Another friend said that she woke up with her baby doing somersaults and flips in her belly. Again, a feeling that I'll never know. It's horrible to feel so bitter at life for taking away something that I wanted to feel for myself. I know that I'll need to come to terms with it sooner or later. I want to choose sooner, but I don't think that it's gonna come soon enough.
I talked to a friend of mine, she's a teacher there on campus, and I knew that she survived breast cancer. If I was gonna talk to anyone, it was gonna be her. She said something that was sobering. She said, "if the cancer has spread, you may not be around in 5 years." I started to cry. I know it was harsh, but it's the reality of my situation. She also said something about my having a predisposition for cancer, and I might get a more aggressive, deadlier cancer. It was a good talk all in all. I wanted to hear about cancer from a woman's point of view. I've only had my boss, who is a male, to talk to about it. He talked about getting ripped roaring drunk before his surgery. lol. Not really helpful, seeing as how I don't drink.
.....
Two friends of mine are pregnant. I'm happy for them, for their joy and their family. But at the same time I feel sad that I won't get to make an announcement like that. Another friend said that she woke up with her baby doing somersaults and flips in her belly. Again, a feeling that I'll never know. It's horrible to feel so bitter at life for taking away something that I wanted to feel for myself. I know that I'll need to come to terms with it sooner or later. I want to choose sooner, but I don't think that it's gonna come soon enough.
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