It's like waiting for Christmas.... But not.

I very much dislike long days like this one was. It makes me tired, and sore and I have a mini break down. So it sucks hard.

I have three weeks. Three more long, terrible, insane weeks before my surgery. It's like waiting for Christmas.... But, not. I can't wait, and yet at the same time I'm scared. I'm afraid that the cancer has grown out of control and I'll be dead in a few weeks. I'm scared of what's gonna happen and I wake up and I know that I've just changed the future that I always knew that I wanted. I'm scared about everything and it's just crap because I don't know what else to do but go on. Fight.

I think that's my new philosophy. Fight and when I think I can't go on any more, find a way to fight til the end.