i feel like i let people down when i tell them that i have cancer.
i know its not my fault, an i know there was nothing i could do to prevent myself from getting it. hell i didnt even know this kind of cancer even exsisted until the doctor told me.
but i feel like people (myself inculded) were pretty relaxed about my not having cancer. because i'm young, and healthy.
i suppose thats what makes this even harder to comprehend. i'm the first woman in my family to have cancer. it's not a title i was shooting for you know? i wanted first to graduate from college, first to be a millionaire. first to be a famous... something, anything but first woman in my family to have cancer.
what if it's terminal and we caught it too late? what if nothing they do sends me into remission? what if all my hair falls out? i can tell you something right now, random internet person who stumbled on my blog, i will NOT look good bald. i'll look like a thumb with a face. also, i have a lumpy head. not a good look. at. all.
can grown-ups join make a wish? cause i could really use a wish right now (see what i did there?).
actually i think what i really need is some hope. lots of it. i also need monday to hurry up and get here so i can talk to the doctor and find out more about what the hell is going on.
i know its not my fault, an i know there was nothing i could do to prevent myself from getting it. hell i didnt even know this kind of cancer even exsisted until the doctor told me.
but i feel like people (myself inculded) were pretty relaxed about my not having cancer. because i'm young, and healthy.
i suppose thats what makes this even harder to comprehend. i'm the first woman in my family to have cancer. it's not a title i was shooting for you know? i wanted first to graduate from college, first to be a millionaire. first to be a famous... something, anything but first woman in my family to have cancer.
what if it's terminal and we caught it too late? what if nothing they do sends me into remission? what if all my hair falls out? i can tell you something right now, random internet person who stumbled on my blog, i will NOT look good bald. i'll look like a thumb with a face. also, i have a lumpy head. not a good look. at. all.
can grown-ups join make a wish? cause i could really use a wish right now (see what i did there?).
actually i think what i really need is some hope. lots of it. i also need monday to hurry up and get here so i can talk to the doctor and find out more about what the hell is going on.
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