All in all today was pretty productive. Went to school learned shit. Walked around in the sun. Had Arby's with my little sister. Watched an episode of Buffy... The life I lead, it's so freaking exciting no?
It's 4pm here and my mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner. She's crying, and I can't help to think that shes crying because of me..... I feel bad because of it.
Last night, I think gave me an insight into what shes thinking. She said that she was going to be strong for me, and not cry, and if they need to take out my uterus to keep me living, than that's what they were gonna have to do because I can't die before her. I'm her oldest child and I cannot die before her.
I told her that its ok that if she needs to cry, she should cry. I mean, its scary. Its fucking scary as hell. I'm scared.
I saw this picture in my psychology book. It was of this woman with an IV hooked up to her. She had a bald head and she looked really sick and tired.... And miserable. Really damn miserable. The caption said something about cancer patients and taste aversion to keep them on their diets. I looked at her picture for the longest time and all I could think was...... This could be me in a few months.
It's scary. Fucking scary as hell.
It's 4pm here and my mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner. She's crying, and I can't help to think that shes crying because of me..... I feel bad because of it.
Last night, I think gave me an insight into what shes thinking. She said that she was going to be strong for me, and not cry, and if they need to take out my uterus to keep me living, than that's what they were gonna have to do because I can't die before her. I'm her oldest child and I cannot die before her.
I told her that its ok that if she needs to cry, she should cry. I mean, its scary. Its fucking scary as hell. I'm scared.
I saw this picture in my psychology book. It was of this woman with an IV hooked up to her. She had a bald head and she looked really sick and tired.... And miserable. Really damn miserable. The caption said something about cancer patients and taste aversion to keep them on their diets. I looked at her picture for the longest time and all I could think was...... This could be me in a few months.
It's scary. Fucking scary as hell.
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