Today was boring, as usual. My sister worked, and my parents were out for almost all day. So I was home to babysit the dog, who still cannot be alone because she chews on everything, including her own poop. Gross I know.
I talked to a military friend of mine, she's stationed in Carolina (I won't specify north or south) and she just got back from being deployed. I missed talking to her. We chatted about her adventure and what happened while she was there, and then we talked about me.
I've gotten used to talking about my cancer since I tell everyone all the time, so it holds little emotion for me... Well, accept for the parts when I talk about how I'm never having kids, that part still can make me tear. Anyway, I explained to her in a calm rational manner what is going on and what could happen. I answered all her questions and I welcomed them. I know she cares a lot for me, I think she sees me as some of the only family that she has, and I love her dearly too. I worry when she gets deployed. But that's military life. So setting her mind at ease is a priority for me. For everyone I talk to who are genuinely worried about my cancer.
Anyway, my frank discussion with my friend, sent my mother on a crying jag, of which she fled the house because she couldn't stand to listen to me discuss my cancer so frankly.... At least that's why I think she left at first. My dad who had been sleeping the afternoon away came downstairs to find her missing and rudely started questioning me when I was still on the phone. He loves to do that and when I correct him, he gets pissy and angry with me.
Anyways, upon my mothers return she had gone to the store and did some shopping. My nephew is turning one in three days and I haven't seen him in two and a half months. I refuse to speak to my brother until he comes to me face to face and apologizes for what he did (I won't go into it now, because its a very long story, but later, when I have nothing else to talk about, I'll explain.) I don't want to have anything to do with him. I'm done playing his "I-don't-want-to-talk-about-my-problems-ever" attitude. And I don't need the added stress in my life. Work and school is already enough. My mother went to get wrapping paper for my nephew's gifts and she got some cookie dough from Zippy's. The cookie dough tasted way better before they cooked it. It makes me sad.
I've come to terms with this cancer. It's just another journey that I have to go through in my life. It's one more experience that I can add to my list. It's one more thing that will make me stronger. But my family, they're the ones having a harder time.
I talked to a military friend of mine, she's stationed in Carolina (I won't specify north or south) and she just got back from being deployed. I missed talking to her. We chatted about her adventure and what happened while she was there, and then we talked about me.
I've gotten used to talking about my cancer since I tell everyone all the time, so it holds little emotion for me... Well, accept for the parts when I talk about how I'm never having kids, that part still can make me tear. Anyway, I explained to her in a calm rational manner what is going on and what could happen. I answered all her questions and I welcomed them. I know she cares a lot for me, I think she sees me as some of the only family that she has, and I love her dearly too. I worry when she gets deployed. But that's military life. So setting her mind at ease is a priority for me. For everyone I talk to who are genuinely worried about my cancer.
Anyway, my frank discussion with my friend, sent my mother on a crying jag, of which she fled the house because she couldn't stand to listen to me discuss my cancer so frankly.... At least that's why I think she left at first. My dad who had been sleeping the afternoon away came downstairs to find her missing and rudely started questioning me when I was still on the phone. He loves to do that and when I correct him, he gets pissy and angry with me.
Anyways, upon my mothers return she had gone to the store and did some shopping. My nephew is turning one in three days and I haven't seen him in two and a half months. I refuse to speak to my brother until he comes to me face to face and apologizes for what he did (I won't go into it now, because its a very long story, but later, when I have nothing else to talk about, I'll explain.) I don't want to have anything to do with him. I'm done playing his "I-don't-want-to-talk-about-my-problems-ever" attitude. And I don't need the added stress in my life. Work and school is already enough. My mother went to get wrapping paper for my nephew's gifts and she got some cookie dough from Zippy's. The cookie dough tasted way better before they cooked it. It makes me sad.
I've come to terms with this cancer. It's just another journey that I have to go through in my life. It's one more experience that I can add to my list. It's one more thing that will make me stronger. But my family, they're the ones having a harder time.
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